As a child it was easy for me to spread joy. I had no worries and no problems and I loved Jesus. I was happy, so being joyful came pretty natural to me. I enjoyed making people smile and laugh.
As a young adult I experienced quite a few hardships in a row. Two of the more difficult hardships included two unexpected deaths and my marriage almost failed. There was a time of great sadness. I've been blessed to see God work amazing miracles in lots of ways, including healing my marriage (but that's a story for another day).
Happiness and joy are two different things. Happiness is an emotion that we can feel when circumstances are good. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit. Joy comes from God. If you are saved and depend on The Lord you can experience true joy no matter your circumstance.
I definitely had happiness and joy even during that trying time in my life, but I felt like a part of me had died. Jesus healed my broken heart, broken relationships, blessed me with many victories. So why did I struggle to remain joy filled?
I was driving down the road one day by myself and asked Jesus that very question. He responded to me so sweetly. He said,"You let Satan blow it out." He used the blowing sound too, and put a picture in my head of me blowing the tip of my finger as I sang that part of the song just like I sang it in church as a child. "Don't let Satan blow it out, I'm going to let it shine." I sang this out loud to myself and laughed.
Jesus showed me in that moment so much. One, He reminded me that part of my calling is to be a joy bringer and a light. Two, He showed me how Satan had successfully (but not permanently) deterred me from being God's light to others. Three, God reminded me that like all fruits of the Spirit, I have to make a daily decision to choose joy and walk in it. I must choose to let His light shine.
I told Jesus I was sorry and asked Him to fill me up with His joy and help me make the decision everyday to walk in the fullness of His joy.
I have had a renewed joy that I hope bubbles over into the lives of every person I come across. I try to be aware that His light shines through me by bringing joy to those I come in contact with.
God is faithful and good all the time. Jesus planted joy in me as a child and matured it. He's not finished with me yet. Shine on!!!
Matt. 5:16 and Ps. 92:4
-Jenni